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Friday, March 21, 2014

Dear Evil Landlady;

Dear Evil Landlady;

Are you there? It's me, Vitka.


I was recently made aware of the fact that a dear friend of mine--she could be called kin, in a literary sense. Family, really--was stricken with respiratory failure. And, yes, wait... Yes, she's a tenant of yours. I don't know why you're being so... Okay, do you remember what you said when we told you?


This is what you said:


"Hi [redacted], I am Laurie's landlady. I am really sorry for her being sick. I have been trying to get her to go to the doctor/hosptial [sic] for 2 weeks now. I will need her rent to be paid immediately. It is still partially due from the 1st of March it is $316 due. Our agreement was she would be paying it yesterday and part of Aprils [sic] I believe. Will you be paying this? I know it is a hard time for her, but this is my family's support. Please call me ASAP to let me know about this and I will send her a copy of this email also. The rent can be sent PayPal."


Oh, good. I'm so glad you're willing to accommodate. PayPal! Immediately!

The issues that come to mind are: $316 and 'this is my family's support.'


Laurie's a worker. Unlike YOU. You run a building, don't really give a fuck about a tenant having respiratory failure, and in the same breath hint that $316 dollars will potentially put YOUR family in the poor (or, perhaps, pour) house.


Really?


Really.


Hey, I get it... Yes, shut up. I get it. You have a business to run. Same business my slumlord had when I was living in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn and he didn't want to pay an exterminator to let us all be rid of bed bugs.


That's a solid business practice, right?


Just either give no fucks about your tenants or put your tenants at risk or, ho ho, demand money from your tenants WHEN THEY HAVE A BREATHING TUBE SHOVED DOWN THEIR THROAT and they can't EVEN FUNCTION.


But, oh, no, yes ma'am. I understand. There's the bottom line to consider. And if you're to be believed, you've managed to utterly FUCK the concept of land ownership so badly IN AN AREA WHERE THE RATES ARE AMONG THE LOWEST IN THE COUNTRY that $316 will surely put your dipshit family on the street while my friend struggles to breathe.


Fine.


Here's where you can help Laurie and shove a dollar sign down this landlady's throat so hard she chokes on it.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Free fiction on Medium

I've been publishing some short stories on Medium -- a website I've come to adore.

It was designed (really) for longer form 'twitter'-esque posts, but I've been loving it as a method of publishing short stories.

It's free and intuitive and super clean. Just great.

I'm here: https://medium.com/@vitka

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

It's MARCH MONSTER MADNESS! 5-star horror novels for $0.99

Meaning: All of my delightful written nightmares are just $0.99.

I know, I know... It's awesome.

The Hroza series, so far, is:

STRANDED



An invasion tale like no other. An intelligent sci-fi adventure for the working man. It's THE GREY meets ALIENS meets THE THING. Men isolated at a logging camp in Alaska spend their days working and driving dogs. Drinkers. Smokers. Tough guys doing a tough job. In the middle of a terrible storm, a black circular shape careens overhead. None of them want to admit that they saw it: A goddamn flying saucer. One loaded with biological war machines that want to tear the universe apart.




A dark, brutal and gritty Horror Fantasy. It's a coming of age story with giant monsters and super-powered kids. Twelve-year-old Caleb Svoboda is a little Einstein. He's brilliant. And even if his tough-guy older brother Jack doesn't set the best example, they're part of a loving family. They know they're lucky. But that luck runs out when an ancient creature awakens under Brooklyn ... Reality is cast into nightmares ... Everything changes when the ancient creature's evil kin decide they want to take planet Earth back ...

The only thing standing in the monsters' way are a few superkids from Brooklyn.



"What if Philip K. Dick and Hunter S. Thompson had collaborated on The Walking Dead?"

NYC has two renewable resources: Attitude and sleazy politicians. Now, one politician has ushered in the end of the world. A councilman kills a hooker with his penis. From that shocking sexual dalliance is spawned a super parasite that transforms its victims into ravenous monsters -- and it's loose on the streets of New York. There are things worse than zombies out there. Who will survive this apocalypse?